Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Chastity Night
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Catholics Love Sex
By: Katie Krueger
We could literally talk about this stuff for weeks on end! I mean, Pope John Paul II – in the Theology of the Body - gave almost 130 talks over 5 years on it, and millions upon millions of movies, songs, tv shows, ads and magazines talk about dating, sing about relationships, and sell sex.
I know that some of you are virgins and some of you are not, and might be thinking, “well, it’s too late for me.” But, I want you to know, ALL of you, that what matters is what you do from this moment forward. If you have used your sexuality in a way other than how God has intended it for you… and that doesn’t just mean sex… RUN to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Let God take all of the stains of sin away and start anew!
God created our sexuality as an incredible gift for His people! He created sex as a way for a man and a woman to be able to freely give of themselves to one another, as a gift to be fully unwrapped and enjoyed within the bonds of a relationship that He has blessed… within the bonds of marriage.
But, we tend to think of God’s plan for our sexuality as confining, as another “rule” that we have to follow. I mean, we even talk about it in negative terms. In schools, we teach abstinence, which essentially just means “not having sex”… it’s a negative. But chastity, purity, God’s plan for our bodies, is positive! It’s a life-giving, freeing gift! Chastity is a virtue – like courage – that applies to our sexuality. It means that we use our sexuality as God intended it – and that ranges all the way from before you start dating through marriage. It opens up our relationships to be transformed by love… it frees us to fall in love for the right reasons. We learn how to grow love in creative ways, to spend time with one another, to get to know each other for who we really are. It’s not something that God created to control us – it is something that God created to free us! We hear lies about our sexuality every day – what it was intended for, how it’s natural to have casual sex, how – if you love someone – you will sleep with them, or at least do everything up to that point. But you all just heard Cassie talk about the awesome fruits of purity in her relationship with Joell, how they have created a relationship founded on faith, one that is growing towards God, one in which Cassie and Joell – in LOVE – put each other first, whether or not they are meant to be married. In no way has living a life of purity limited them! It’s only freed them to enjoy a relationship without the confusion and drama that the physical element brings.
In the 1960s, the US went through a huge sexual revolution – the “free love” movement, and we are still living in the wake of it. Our culture promotes the idea that if there are mutual feelings between two people, then, if there is consent, those people should be “free” to explore their sexuality however they want. And, I agree that we should be free to do whatever love calls us to do, but we need to make sure that it is LOVE that is calling us. I mean, how many times have we walked down the halls at school or turned on the TV and heard, “I love you, baby…” But, let’s call it like it is, how much of the time is that really, “I lust you…”
Through the media and in school, we learn that if two people are attracted to one another and feel ready for sex, that they should do what they want, when they want! We want to live totally in the present, and our culture tells us that our sexuality exists for us and others to use, where every boyfriend or girlfriend gets a slice of something that makes us unique.
Sex becomes a way of conquering another person, and if we “hold out” for a few months, we consider ourselves ready to go further. We try to combat our loneliness by finding refuge in the physical, and – even when we decide to save sex for marriage – we think that everything that leads up to it is fair game. We convince ourselves that if he or she loved me, they would give me x, y, or z… that sex is the ultimate form of love. We begin to worship the creation instead of the creator.
And, ironically, we think that looking at sexuality in this way will actually help us! We think that having “experience” with a physical relationship will prepare us for marriage. But, guess what?! In the largest sex survey ever conducted in the United States, researchers found that those couples who saved sex for marriage had a 70% LOWER divorce rate. Even more than that, they found that couples who had a pure relationship were 6 times more faithful to their spouses!
We think that, if our bodies are ready for sex – it must mean that we are. It’s natural, right? But that is not what we are called to; that is not what we were created for! Our sexuality was meant for the kind of love that we talked about last week, a love where you desire the absolute best for the other person, desire them to grow in holiness. It was not meant to be broken into pieces, it was meant to be a complete gift for our spouses – a gift for us to unwrap in marriage. When we misuse our sexuality, we break ourselves apart. We become sexually broken people, who cover up the beauty of who God created us to be with sin.
Scripture says that we are all adopted children of God – a family. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to lead each other towards holiness, closer to God. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to protect each other’s purity – in speech and action! Some of us are strong enough to draw our own boundaries, but we need the support of each other to PRACTICE purity.
Guys – God calls you to be a leader in your relationships! He calls you to protect your sisters in Christ! Let’s face it, guys are usually the ones that “make the move” in a relationship, right?! God have us this awesome gift of sexuality, and His Spirit gives us the power and strength to use it as it was intended, through love and self-control! Think about it this way. Most of you want to get married someday, yes? I know it’s hard to think this far ahead – but think about your future spouse, picture her vaguely in your head… Say she is alone with another guy right now – someone you will never meet. How do you want her to be treated? How far do you want her to go? Some of you might ask, Well, how far is too far? When you try to ride the fence, when you try to push it to the limits of “how far is too far?” – you find that it gets more and more difficult to cool off, right? - living a life of purity becomes nearly impossible! It’s not about how close to the line of sin you can get – it’s about how far away you can keep your relationship away from the line. Chastity - despite what the world says - is what makes you a MAN. Believe me, the kind of woman that I assume you want to marry, the kind who will LOVE you and want what is truly best for you, the kind that will lead you to a life of joy, recognizes and appreciates the incredible value of a man who will not only put his purity but HER purity first.
And girls – We are called to protect the purity of our MEN! Our sexuality is different from guys. Some people compare the sexual arousal of a woman to an iron – it takes a while to warm up. Guys… guys are like light-bulbs. On. And Off. And on. Easy. If we are going to protect and respect the purity of our brothers in Christ, we need to change the way we do things. We need to dress modestly. ! Our dress doesn’t just affect the guy that we like – the one that we feel we need to dress for – it also affects all of our guy friends, our brothers in Christ! Guys are visual – why would we want to make them stumble in their purity through what we wear? We are temples of the Holy Spirit – let your body be something that men appreciate as God’s creation, not something that leads them to temptation and sin All of the faith-filled men that I have ever met – the kind, believe me girls, that you want to find - have a deep appreciation for the beauty of women who dress modestly. They recognize the beauty, humility and mystery of God cloaked behind what we wear. Isn’t that what we want deep down inside?! A man who recognizes God in us, right?! Not a guy who sees us as an object to lust after! The media teaches us that we have to dress and act a certain way to get a guy – to flirt and talk like they do on TV or in movies, to listen to Cosmo and be forward with a guy, expressing our affection physically or through suggestive speech! But what kind of relationship does that create? None of us want a relationship that is based on sex! None of us want a guy who believes in a love-em-and-leave-em philosophy! We want a man who can respect us, protect us and love us – but we have to protect them too.
Our sexuality is not meant to be separated from our emotions. Sex and everything that leads up to it… starting with the most BASIC acts of physical affection… CANNOT be separated from love. When we live a life of hook-ups, we rob our sexuality and all that God created it to be of its original glory! We sometimes try to convince ourselves otherwise – saying stuff like “But, I love her!” or “I love him so much that I am willing to give this to him, even if we aren’t going to last.” But true love, the love that desires what is REALLY best for the other person – not lust, not infatuation – loves the other person enough to fight for their purity, to respect and honor their God-given sexuality, and to work for chastity. Whether you have already decided to live a life of purity or you have made mistakes in your past – WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.
I know it’s hard. I mean, even when we watch TV – basic cable – our senses are FLOODED with images, sexual innuendos and more! I know how hard it is to keep your mind and body pure when all of that stuff is thrown at you – no matter where you look, it seems like there’s always something. Chastity is hard, but the way that the media is run has us in CHAINS, we have become slaves to impulse instead of free children who are able to use our sexuality as all that it was created to be. It’s a challenge, one that takes courage and support – but it’s what we were MEANT for. To be FREE.
By: Katie Krueger
We could literally talk about this stuff for weeks on end! I mean, Pope John Paul II – in the Theology of the Body - gave almost 130 talks over 5 years on it, and millions upon millions of movies, songs, tv shows, ads and magazines talk about dating, sing about relationships, and sell sex.
I know that some of you are virgins and some of you are not, and might be thinking, “well, it’s too late for me.” But, I want you to know, ALL of you, that what matters is what you do from this moment forward. If you have used your sexuality in a way other than how God has intended it for you… and that doesn’t just mean sex… RUN to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Let God take all of the stains of sin away and start anew!
God created our sexuality as an incredible gift for His people! He created sex as a way for a man and a woman to be able to freely give of themselves to one another, as a gift to be fully unwrapped and enjoyed within the bonds of a relationship that He has blessed… within the bonds of marriage.
But, we tend to think of God’s plan for our sexuality as confining, as another “rule” that we have to follow. I mean, we even talk about it in negative terms. In schools, we teach abstinence, which essentially just means “not having sex”… it’s a negative. But chastity, purity, God’s plan for our bodies, is positive! It’s a life-giving, freeing gift! Chastity is a virtue – like courage – that applies to our sexuality. It means that we use our sexuality as God intended it – and that ranges all the way from before you start dating through marriage. It opens up our relationships to be transformed by love… it frees us to fall in love for the right reasons. We learn how to grow love in creative ways, to spend time with one another, to get to know each other for who we really are. It’s not something that God created to control us – it is something that God created to free us! We hear lies about our sexuality every day – what it was intended for, how it’s natural to have casual sex, how – if you love someone – you will sleep with them, or at least do everything up to that point. But you all just heard Cassie talk about the awesome fruits of purity in her relationship with Joell, how they have created a relationship founded on faith, one that is growing towards God, one in which Cassie and Joell – in LOVE – put each other first, whether or not they are meant to be married. In no way has living a life of purity limited them! It’s only freed them to enjoy a relationship without the confusion and drama that the physical element brings.
In the 1960s, the US went through a huge sexual revolution – the “free love” movement, and we are still living in the wake of it. Our culture promotes the idea that if there are mutual feelings between two people, then, if there is consent, those people should be “free” to explore their sexuality however they want. And, I agree that we should be free to do whatever love calls us to do, but we need to make sure that it is LOVE that is calling us. I mean, how many times have we walked down the halls at school or turned on the TV and heard, “I love you, baby…” But, let’s call it like it is, how much of the time is that really, “I lust you…”
Through the media and in school, we learn that if two people are attracted to one another and feel ready for sex, that they should do what they want, when they want! We want to live totally in the present, and our culture tells us that our sexuality exists for us and others to use, where every boyfriend or girlfriend gets a slice of something that makes us unique.
Sex becomes a way of conquering another person, and if we “hold out” for a few months, we consider ourselves ready to go further. We try to combat our loneliness by finding refuge in the physical, and – even when we decide to save sex for marriage – we think that everything that leads up to it is fair game. We convince ourselves that if he or she loved me, they would give me x, y, or z… that sex is the ultimate form of love. We begin to worship the creation instead of the creator.
And, ironically, we think that looking at sexuality in this way will actually help us! We think that having “experience” with a physical relationship will prepare us for marriage. But, guess what?! In the largest sex survey ever conducted in the United States, researchers found that those couples who saved sex for marriage had a 70% LOWER divorce rate. Even more than that, they found that couples who had a pure relationship were 6 times more faithful to their spouses!
We think that, if our bodies are ready for sex – it must mean that we are. It’s natural, right? But that is not what we are called to; that is not what we were created for! Our sexuality was meant for the kind of love that we talked about last week, a love where you desire the absolute best for the other person, desire them to grow in holiness. It was not meant to be broken into pieces, it was meant to be a complete gift for our spouses – a gift for us to unwrap in marriage. When we misuse our sexuality, we break ourselves apart. We become sexually broken people, who cover up the beauty of who God created us to be with sin.
Scripture says that we are all adopted children of God – a family. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to lead each other towards holiness, closer to God. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to protect each other’s purity – in speech and action! Some of us are strong enough to draw our own boundaries, but we need the support of each other to PRACTICE purity.
Guys – God calls you to be a leader in your relationships! He calls you to protect your sisters in Christ! Let’s face it, guys are usually the ones that “make the move” in a relationship, right?! God have us this awesome gift of sexuality, and His Spirit gives us the power and strength to use it as it was intended, through love and self-control! Think about it this way. Most of you want to get married someday, yes? I know it’s hard to think this far ahead – but think about your future spouse, picture her vaguely in your head… Say she is alone with another guy right now – someone you will never meet. How do you want her to be treated? How far do you want her to go? Some of you might ask, Well, how far is too far? When you try to ride the fence, when you try to push it to the limits of “how far is too far?” – you find that it gets more and more difficult to cool off, right? - living a life of purity becomes nearly impossible! It’s not about how close to the line of sin you can get – it’s about how far away you can keep your relationship away from the line. Chastity - despite what the world says - is what makes you a MAN. Believe me, the kind of woman that I assume you want to marry, the kind who will LOVE you and want what is truly best for you, the kind that will lead you to a life of joy, recognizes and appreciates the incredible value of a man who will not only put his purity but HER purity first.
And girls – We are called to protect the purity of our MEN! Our sexuality is different from guys. Some people compare the sexual arousal of a woman to an iron – it takes a while to warm up. Guys… guys are like light-bulbs. On. And Off. And on. Easy. If we are going to protect and respect the purity of our brothers in Christ, we need to change the way we do things. We need to dress modestly. ! Our dress doesn’t just affect the guy that we like – the one that we feel we need to dress for – it also affects all of our guy friends, our brothers in Christ! Guys are visual – why would we want to make them stumble in their purity through what we wear? We are temples of the Holy Spirit – let your body be something that men appreciate as God’s creation, not something that leads them to temptation and sin All of the faith-filled men that I have ever met – the kind, believe me girls, that you want to find - have a deep appreciation for the beauty of women who dress modestly. They recognize the beauty, humility and mystery of God cloaked behind what we wear. Isn’t that what we want deep down inside?! A man who recognizes God in us, right?! Not a guy who sees us as an object to lust after! The media teaches us that we have to dress and act a certain way to get a guy – to flirt and talk like they do on TV or in movies, to listen to Cosmo and be forward with a guy, expressing our affection physically or through suggestive speech! But what kind of relationship does that create? None of us want a relationship that is based on sex! None of us want a guy who believes in a love-em-and-leave-em philosophy! We want a man who can respect us, protect us and love us – but we have to protect them too.
Our sexuality is not meant to be separated from our emotions. Sex and everything that leads up to it… starting with the most BASIC acts of physical affection… CANNOT be separated from love. When we live a life of hook-ups, we rob our sexuality and all that God created it to be of its original glory! We sometimes try to convince ourselves otherwise – saying stuff like “But, I love her!” or “I love him so much that I am willing to give this to him, even if we aren’t going to last.” But true love, the love that desires what is REALLY best for the other person – not lust, not infatuation – loves the other person enough to fight for their purity, to respect and honor their God-given sexuality, and to work for chastity. Whether you have already decided to live a life of purity or you have made mistakes in your past – WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.
I know it’s hard. I mean, even when we watch TV – basic cable – our senses are FLOODED with images, sexual innuendos and more! I know how hard it is to keep your mind and body pure when all of that stuff is thrown at you – no matter where you look, it seems like there’s always something. Chastity is hard, but the way that the media is run has us in CHAINS, we have become slaves to impulse instead of free children who are able to use our sexuality as all that it was created to be. It’s a challenge, one that takes courage and support – but it’s what we were MEANT for. To be FREE.
Posted by
Katie Krueger
Labels:
talks
Thursday, November 5, 2009
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We're SO close to leaving for the Fall Retreat at Steven's Pass! I am UNBELIEVABLY excited!
Love you all!
source
Posted by
Katie Krueger
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
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SO MUCH LOVE!
“This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
Posted by
Katie Krueger
Labels:
you are loved
Monday, November 2, 2009
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